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Alexandra Petri: And why didn't Mike Pence stay at Doonbeg?



I think a better question than "Why does the Vice President stay at Trump International Golf Links in Doonbeg when his meeting is in Dublin?" Or "Why will he pay for this visit out of his pocket?" anytime, stay anywhere that was not Doonbeg?

Consider the facts. Doonbeg is a paradise on Earth. It has everything International Golf Links should have: the name of Trump on it in capital letters, and also, I'm sure, many other benefits invisible to the untrained eye.

In addition, Dublin is a miserable place. This is the home of the undesirable, such as Jonathan Swift ̵

1; a man with bold proposals to deal with the undesirable population, but unfortunately few follow-ups – and Oscar Wilde, the less they say, the better. The Vice President may unknowingly spend time unattended with Molly Malone's ghost and inadvertently violate Graham's rule. There is a croc epidemic, drinking there is some whiskey and the river seems lil Liffey.

Contrast this with Doonbeg, conveniently three hours from the meeting the Vice President attended, a trip that allowed him critical time to think peacefully. Should we force the Vice President to fall into Dublin, far from any Trump property when one is three hours away? In fact, what is a six hour round trip?

And don't worry, the Vice President pays out of his pocket to stay there! As is his right! (The Secret Service is not what theirs is!) Why shouldn't he? If he thinks the president is doing a good job and deserves higher compensation, he should be allowed to pay the president some of his own money just to give thanks. Money is Trump's love language, and the vice president should think it makes a nice change for him, every once in a while, to be remembered by a patriot who loves America, not a sinister foreign entity.

Also, to be fair, President Trump suggested that this would be a good place to stay. But just because the decision to stay at Trump International Golf Links in Doonbeg was made on a proposal from the president, doesn't mean it wasn't the best possible idea. If the president told you to take Trump's life-saving brand to save yourself, would you refuse? Well, this is Doonbeg.

This is the savior. It is rare to be honored to be able to stay there in the best of times. It's a paradise on Earth. Is it Trump's fault that he is the owner and beneficiary of what is invariably the most beautiful, pleasant and convenient place to stay in many cities around the world? This is his genius. Should he be punished for being lucky to choose only the best places in the world?

Or maybe the explanation is simpler: Mike Pence pays to stay in Doonbeg in the hopes of succeeding in influencing the Trump administration like everyone else.

  Alexandra Petri
Alexandra Petri

Follow Alexandra Petri on Twitter, @petridishes.


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