Dear Amy: I'm a happily married woman. My husband for 10 years and I are the parents of a daughter.
I recently went on a volunteer trip to Asia. We were a group of female volunteers who came from all over the world.
Something changed for me during my stay there as I became incredibly attracted to one of the girls in the group.
I have to say I fell in love. We worked for a common purpose and found it on the ground and incredibly original. I never told her about it.
I felt she might have felt the same way, but I'm not sure 1
She has a friend. I always knew I was bisexual, but I never acted on it. I have never been involved with women since I am very happy with my husband.
I wanted to talk to her about it while we were still there, but I never had a chance.
We are all back now in our countries. I thought I'd get out of it. But I can not stop thinking about it.
One part of me says I have to tell her about it, but another part tells me not to mess with her head because I do not expect anything from that. Can you suggest what to do?
I have the feeling I just have to tell her and see what happens, but I'm afraid she might hate me if I reveal
I'm just torn and tired of that feeling. I'm sad I can not tell anyone
We Need Closing
Dear We Need Closing: People in happy marriages often face other people who feel sexually and / or emotionally attracted. It is easy to find yourself when you are away from your contemporary marital, parental and professional responsibilities by working in a distant place to the common goal.
If you want to continue in your marriage, one way to deal with your attraction is to realize that the relationship with your life partner is the primary and most important thing in your life. The ability to choose is one of the privileges of being a mature person; the choice to engage fully with your partner is unethical and ethical.
As to the disclosure of this attraction to the other woman, before you make a decision, you have to ask (and answer) the age-old question: "What purpose does it serve?" If it would be useful for you to report this – fair and authentic – then it should.
If you fight your sexuality in the wider context of your life and marriage, you can reveal and explore this with a compassionate therapist
Dear Amy: My sister is toxic. She has a discontent with our parents, and she has always been carrying things from years ago. She encouraged me to be malicious and resemble our mother, as she had been.
Last year, there were several incidents in which she went a long way with her behavior and did not respect the limits. Then I decided I could not keep in touch with her and told her that.
She expresses some remorse to our mother about my behavior towards me. But I feel much better without contact.
I did not tell my mother the depth of my sister's behavior, but I told Mom that he was between us.
I'm not honest with my mother to save my feelings, but on the other hand my mother can sue me because I do not want to have a relationship with my sister. How to wrap your head around? Should I just tell my mother and risk hurting her?
– Not sure
Dear Secrets: Do not use your mother as an intermediary. When she tries to mediate, tell her: "Mum, I understand it's hard for you, but I want you to be patient and not to interfere. Less contact right now is best for me, but if sister she wants to come to me, she knows how to find me. "
Dear Amy:" An upset mom "was wondering how to help her older children understand better. I was very disappointed when my mother absolutely refused to discuss our disputes (not to mention that)
Now that she's gone, I see that her instinct is to try to prepare us for a living
[Ask About Amy Dickinson by Askamy@amydickinson.com] , PO Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow it on Twitter @askingamy or "Like" on Facebook.)