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Ask Amy: The request for a mask provokes ridiculous reactions



I acknowledged her concern, saying that of course I would wear a mask.

I decided not to have any more personal conversations at work and now this seems to be a problem for her.

I have not been evil in this matter; I just decide not to engage in personal conversations with her anymore.

What I do away from work is not really anyone else̵

7;s job. I am a very safe traveler and I practice good hygiene and I am not sick of a pandemic.

This particular colleague smokes and drinks on weekends, but I have never condemned her or told her about her chances of getting cancer because of her habits.

Do you have words of wisdom for those of us who still work in an office to deal with different attitudes and personal responsibilities to each other during this time?

Don’t judge me: If you do not want to be severely condemned, then do not be reactive and judgmental yourself.

Your colleague’s smoking and drinking habits when he is at home have nothing to do with your health – and you know it.

Your trip could (possibly) affect hers – and others’ – and you know it.

My advice to people who share office space is to comply with local, state and company guidelines.

My advice to people struggling with how to treat others who are at risk, nervous, anxious – or downright neurotic about covid negotiation – is that people who are physically and mentally healthier should to adjust their behavior to the level of the most vulnerable.

It’s not fun and sometimes (as in your case) you may feel manipulated, disrespected or hurt.

Your colleague’s request for a mask was reasonable. Your defensive response was ridiculous, as was hers! Finally, a general opinion.

Dear Amy: Over the years, my husband and I have experienced many ups and downs. Although we have a 1-year-old child together, we have discussed divorce many times, but we are still there.

However, at the end of the day, every wife wants to hear her husband say, “Honey, if I had to remarry you, I would do it with a pulse.” But I know he doesn’t really feel that way. And because of that I feel less confident. Should I be worried?

Confused: If you had to do it in the beginning, would you marry your husband at heart? Some days yes, some days probably not.

The first few years of family life with a baby can be extremely stressful. I think you should decide to postpone your question. Set it aside.

I can’t tell you whether to worry about the future of your marriage, but I can say for sure that “hanging out there” is something to celebrate.

Dear Amy: I want to give your readers a different perspective on how difficult the holiday season has been.

I am married to a police officer. We have no children. For many years I have been alone at Christmas or attending family events alone because he works or sleeps to prepare for his shift.

And you know what? Everything is fine! I plan to watch movies, light candles and buy food that I like to indulge in.

A few years ago, my mother was in the hospital at Christmas, and these doctors, nurses, and support staff were also there.

Firefighters, hotel workers and road crews also cannot celebrate with their families.

For us, this is not the “new normal”, but simply normal.

We hope that next year will be normal for those of you who are going through this “new normal”, but remember next year that your normal is not a reality for everyone.

Different normal: Thank you! You have suggested your important perspective at the ideal moment. None of us should ever forget the lessons we learned this year. My gratitude goes out – way, out – to all who work so hard to give others “normal”.

2021 by Amy Dickinson, distributed by the Tribune Content Agency


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