A brief but important investigation into whether KFC will bring in pea-protein agglomerations of deep-fried meat-like meat to an impatient New Zealand public soon.
It was Tuesday morning. Stuff's Oakland news director circled the table, and other reporters revealed his hot tips: John Tamihere promised that if he was elected mayor, he would give a golden wand to any newborn (or something like that).
There may be something about lime scooters.
Some famous one suppressed their name, so we couldn't make much of the story about it, and someone not very famous also suppressed their name, which was even worse.
And of course, there were a lot of real news stories that you can read about here in the fullness of time.
I didn't have my own hot tips to offer, but I had Twitter open on my laptop, so by the time my name was said, I had recently realized that Donald Trump was a horrible human being, that the Amazon forests were burning, and that in Atlanta, Georgia, KFC is a behemoth of a day, offering customers buckets of protein lumps without chicken (though they have expressed it differently):
It's a fried chicken in Kentucky, but made with @BeyondMeat . It's confusing, but also delicious. Celebrate these Kentucky Fried Wonders tomorrow as they continue at KFC in Atlanta, Georgia. pic.twitter.com/lC5oYM1cmk
I was intrigued. Because New Zealand loves KFC stories. There was a lot to do about the unhealthy calorie Double Down; there were several about how her workers were striving for better wages; there was something about an unlikely car accident when passing through KFC; and the one for the KFC halal campaign.
(To be fair, KFC's weirdest and thus best stories are mostly from overseas, like the one for the rat rat, which really wasn't, a KFC-flavored chicken burger, tried in China, and the Australian KFC, who is apparently trying to become a Michelin star.)
Anyway, certainly New Zealanders – and especially vegetarians and vegan New Zealanders who want every carnivorous eater to eat mysteriously flavored tan – colored protein chunks – they will want to know when (and really whether) "Beyond fried chicken" will be up to goes to New Zealand.
"Maybe," I said absently, "one can understand. "
Okay, said the news director. Go find out then we will put it on the internet.