Dear AMY: My parents are the best. Like, the best. Imagine a mom who sends makeshift cards and care packages, and a dad who checks your oil.
They always supported me emotionally, mentally and even financially when I was in college. I live every day full of gratitude for their love and the life they have been able to give to my brother and me.
Although I am now in my 30s, married, have a great career, they are still trying to take care of them for me. When we go out to eat, even if they travel to visit me, they still try to pay the bill. This usually ends in a battle to get a check at the end of a meal. You sew – the poor waitresses and waitresses who have to put up with us at the end of the meal (this is not a real screaming battle, more like a comedy to try to hide another person's wallet).
This is not a big deal in itself, but in a few weeks we will be temporarily moving with my parents for three to six months so that we can shop / build a home closer to them because of my dad's deteriorating health. [19659004] I raised the issue of paying rent or accepting groceries and utilities, but they won't hear about it!
Amy, how do I get my parents to understand that they raised a daughter who is responsible, successful, and fully capable of not only caring for themselves but being able to show their appreciation to them in return? And would it be uncomfortable for me to feel like I got rid of my parents, even for a short while?
Daughter in dilemma
RESPECTIVE TREE: Your people will never be able to accept money from you, but you must do everything you can to be of service to them while you live. in their home. For example, if your mother insists on cooking (I could imagine this), you and your spouse should do all the cleaning. You need to see if you can handle some of the driving and running, such as taking them to a doctor and picking up groceries for the household. If your mother gives you a list, you may be able to pay for something real.
You and your spouse also need to make sure that you have a schedule for when you won't go home (such as a regular "date night") so that your people retreat to their own procedures.
Accept with grace your great parents. Love them with equal abundance. If your father's health continues to fail, you will be asked to step up in every possible way – and you will.
DEAR ALL: Do you have any advice on how to make people understand this when I say I don't hear well, that means I can't understand what they are saying?
I lost the number of times I explained why I didn't talk on the phone – just to run into the words, "OK. How long will you be able to talk on the phone? "
I'm almost able to say," Hey, MORON, I can't hear the phone f ***** g! "I don't say it, but remember.
I communicate exclusively by text message or email, but others refuse to accept me.
Am I doing this wrong?
Hard of hearing
STORED CONTENT: You can't hear and it seems like others can't listen – or they may have trouble hearing your answers.
Also understand that some people don't have the transition to text messaging and email. They will not understand or make your decisions.
You may be more fortunate if you express your answers differently: "I have severe hearing loss and cannot speak on the phone. Would you like to send a text or email? "Completing their" ask "statement, they pass it on to them.
Since you seem ready to use technology, I wonder if there is adaptive technology that will help you mitigate hearing loss in order to communicate more easily. You have to look into this.
AMY STORAGE: "In Quandary" described another parent as "helicopter parent". I saw this and noticed that both parents were twisting!
Fan
Dear fan: I liked the idea of this seventh-grader, who can handle his complex school trips on his own. I hope his parents retire and let him go.
You can send an email to Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.
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