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Sailors go to Anaheim (not Los Angeles), defeat the angels (not Mike Trout)

As we all know, baseball has a collection of idiosyncrasies that make the game especially delightful in its strange, fascinating way. I’ve always loved the fact that coaches have to wear the same uniform as players, or that without a doubt a home run in some stadiums is just a dead quail to the warning track of others. But one of my favorite things about random baseball raised its head in this year’s Mariners game: a starting pitcher who has the lead before they even throw a pitch. Like a defender who entered the field with a 7-0 lead after their defense brought a winning return, a pitcher with the luxury of an early lead works wonders for their game plan, psyche and overall behavior.

This luxury was given to Marco Gonzalez when Jose Marmoleios smashed this horrible step of Dylan Bundy to the back walls of Angel Stadium.

This was not only the first start in Marmolejos’ career, but so was I. [clears throat, buys trophy, pours eight beers into it, drinks it like I’ve just won some sort of self-serving championship] PROVIDE ONE HOUR BEFORE THE GAME. It’s a luxury to be incredibly smart. The citizens sang my praises far and wide, as our favorite baseball team led 3-0 in the first .05% of the game.

Seattle had another big luxury on their side tonight as Angels superstar Mike Trout missed the game to welcome newborn Alevin. A luxury that Marco Gonzalez does not have, unfortunately, is able to miss in the middle of the plate. Although his repertoire of changing a crooked ball can be extremely effective in placing corners, none of these games play very well if he finds himself in the greasy part of the impact zone. As he blew through the first four passes, Gonzalez threw stones at Joe Hudson, the battery’s first friend. When he bets on the heart of the plate, it usually happened so early in the count, when the hits are willing to accept, as did the three-stage destruction of Shohi Okhtani.

Graphic courtesy of MLB.com

When Hudson settled in one place for a whole bat, Gonzalez was also faced with the challenge. This constant diet of Justin Upton’s internal cutters, while certainly aided by the judge, is a virgin example of how Gonzalez can be a nightmare for right-wing strikers.

Graphic courtesy of MLB.com

Unfortunately, the fact that it is a control steel object without swing and leakage means that Gonzalez is more reliant on its protection than pitchers that are offered equipped with a Formula 1 engine. With two outs in the fifth inning, Gonzalez caused a rotation of imprisoned by a man named Taylor Ward. When the ball spun like Beyblade to second base, Shed Long Jr. got a position to make the game, approaching the ball as if he were going to drive it into the air. Instead, the ball appeared on a left turn and ran out of its glove, giving the Angels a much-needed start and Long Jr. making their first mistake of the season. What happened next can only be described with shoulders, a deep sigh, and a resigned “It’s baseball.”

This was Max Stassi, a lifetime reserve catcher with a career wRC + of 75. The absurd opposing pitch at home, which remained honest with a claw, provoked a fantastic reaction from Gonzales.

Stasi’s pole dance thoroughly turned a boring 3-0 game into a slightly less boring 3-2 game. For whatever reason, the sailors forgot how to hit after Marmolejos’ first strike and the game picked up at auction pace. where no one wanted to buy anything. Obviously, the inverted nature of this season has created a lot of unusual factors, most of which I hope will retire when they play 162 again, but I absolutely don’t hate the game being in the fifth inning before 8:00. If the Mariners want to bring something from this bizarre world into the future, it should definitely be a 6:40 start time.

The board continued to read 3-2 as the sun set at Angels’ cookie cutting stadium, surrounded by a 19-mile parking lot. While this means that a sudden flicker illuminated the sky of the county district like a malfunctioning Juul pod. The source? Shedrick Bernard Long Jr., who played Derek Zoolander to the Angels Hansel Robles.

Robles and the Angels followed suit with the always dubious “two straight walks” maneuver, which made Joe Hudson overtake both runners with a picturesque sacrifice. I’m not kidding at all when I say that this will probably be my lasting memory of Joe Hudson, Actual Seattle Mariner. JP Crawford got his money with a lucky balloon with two RBIs and just like that, the Mariners had some necessary insurance runs. They will quickly accumulate three more tracks to ensure the series’ victory against their enemies with tomatoes, delayed only by Shohei Otani, somehow falling low and on the field above the wall in the left central field. By the way, tomatoes are known to have Otani and Trout, added Anthony Raindon and Joe Madden, but still do not have a single good pitcher on the list. This seems like a bad idea. However, I am sure that they will make things right. It’s not like they had extra time to prepare for this season and assess their boulevard.

When the dust cleared on the tomb of the Disney mascot, the Sailors took two of three of the teams I love to watch them fight the most. What a luxury.

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