OPINION: It is raining this week when Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth announce their surprise split.
Well, not quite, but there was a melancholy gust of wind, parting with the hope of lasting love between one of Hollywood's most beloved pop unions.
Over the past decade, the couple had a top-spin relationship with contemporary Taylor-Burton (if Liz Taylor had released an album named Bangerz and if Richard Burton had played the paraplegic surfer on ).
The couple originally met in 2009 on the set of Nicholas Sparks pilot The last song was released in 201
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Personally, I see first in marriage. Prove to others that you are not alone? Throwing money on an expensive party with terrible cakes? To remind yourself that you do not spend your entire weekly salary on the pale alley?
However, celebrity marriages are even more confusing. What's the point?
Take Liam and Miley for example. Two young, attractive and highly lusty individuals who have entered a work and personal environment where they are forever surrounded by such types.
They could enjoy the good years of their 20-something celebrity flirting with, say, Zendaya and Timothy Chalamet and similar Hollywood starlets. Instead, they go into messy separation and potential divorce, like several middle-aged depressants.
Why Not All Celebrities Live Like Leonardo DiCaprio – Or Any Female Equivalent To Leonardo DiCaprio Meet Wisely (Early Taylor Swift? Kate Hudson from Middle Age?) – Beyond me.
Hollywood is full of examples of celebrity marriages that have suddenly disappeared, much shorter than the eight-month union of Miley and Liam. And it's not just a "troubled millennium": Ethel Merman and Ernest Borgnin continued for 32 days in 1964, chasing the track for the likes of series lucky ones like Drew Barrymore, Pamela Anderson and Nicholas Cage.
Who makes celebrities think they are wrong with their "marriages" anyway? What may be a weird inclination to shape their fanciful schedules into something resembling "normal life" – a stable work routine, dinner, sofa, many of us take for granted – usually ends everything else, but
Between long overseas concerts and public tours, there are hardly any married celebrities. at the same place. If you do not have daily disputes about who collects cutlery or replaces the toilet roll, is it really a marriage? (Boo! [wiggles fingers] I'm the ghost of Rodney Dangerfield.)
This may also be just a cheap grip on press relevancy, an attempt to hold on to the daily news cycle. The number of headlines for the shocking wedding of Miley and Liam, which broke out last December, is downplayed by the number of headlines that fall out of their sudden disintegration this week.
"Please respect their process and confidentiality," Cyrus officials wrote in a statement to the media, at the same time photos of Miley kissing a girlfriend in Italy were smeared on social media. Undoubtedly, the forthcoming album cycle will have to do with "lost love" or "restored freedom" or some such comfortable angle.
Maybe it's too cynical. Who am I to make fun of celebrity attempts to find a love affair and watch this founder of love in front of the whole world? As Hemsworth emotionally presented it to an annoying tabloid reporter this week: "You don't understand what it is."
No, we don't. And neither did Leonardo DiCaprio. I think there's a lesson somewhere.